PORTLAND, ME – Asha Gonsalves, 36, has twisted off her son’s ear while berating him for making poor choices. Her daughter Amy is amazed that it didn’t happen sooner.
The incident occurred in the Gonsalves household at 6:47pm Thursday night. Her son, Anthony, had gone to the mall with his friends and gotten a haircut in preparation for the school dance on Friday. The haircut did not sit well with Mrs. Gonsalves.
“His hair was horrible,” said Mrs. Gonsalves. “It was short on the sides and long only in the front. It was pointing up here and there. He looked like a loafer! So I grabbed his ear, to get his attention and make sure he listens to me – but it came right off in my hand.”
“It’s just a haircut, I don’t know what the big deal is,” said Anthony. “I always get these boring, conservative hair cuts. But I’m in high school now and I wanted to get something kinda cool. I showed the guy a picture of my favorite soccer player, Neymar, and got my hair cut. It took a lot of gel – like almost the whole tube – to keep my hair in place.”
“It actually looked pretty cool,” continued Anthony. “But I knew Mom would hate it. I figured when I got home she’d chew me out and then it would be over. But then she grabbed my ear and pulled the damn thing right off.”
“I don’t know what’s wrong with his ear,” said Mrs. Gonsalves. “I’ve always twisted his ear since he was a little boy, just like all of my relatives before me. It’s very effective and non-violent. And I can guarantee he’ll never get his hair cut like a loafer again. No good Indian boy has hair like that.”
“I’m just amazed it took so long,” said Anthony’s sister Amy. “Mom’s grabbing his ear all the time. When I was little I used to worry it would come off but it never did. Maybe it was because our grandparents were visiting last month; they used to grab his ear to make a point too. Maybe it was just too much.”
Anthony has conceded that he might have taken it a little too far and has decided not to press charges.